Patriotism

"Where the mind is without fear 

and the head is held high; 

                                                Where knowledge is free; 

Where the world has not been 

broken up into fragments by 

narrow domestic walls; 

Where words come out from 

the depth of truth; 

Where tireless striving stretches 

its arms towards perfection; 

Where the clear stream of reason 

has not lost its way into the dreary 

desert sand of dead habit; 

Where the mind is lead forward by thee 

into ever-widening thought and action- 

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, 

let my country awake." 

By Rabindranath Tagore.

Lets walk back on that lane again when all Indians felt a sense of pride, where the ability to do better than yesterday was our goal, when every individual knew his responsibility toward our mother nation and when we all held our head high.


We have seen hardships more than any country but we defeated every hurdle, moved every obstacle and found our freedom, through; hard work, sacrifice and love toward not only our nation but also towards our fellow human beings. Let us not forget how far we have come, let us do our bit to take it even further. 


Realise that it is not just a politician's job to run the nation but ours, he is just our voice. So, if our thoughts are selfish in thinking and worrying only about ourselves, then that is how far his thoughts would go too. Contribute in the development of our nation by giving your best in what ever you do. Acknowledge the fact that behind every nation that stands strong its people stand stronger. Remember that we fought many wars, we managed to win our nation back and still live free, it was not because of just one leader but many simpletons like you and I who knew what had to be done. Understand that none of us are perfect but if we try we can come closer with every step. 


Our contribution can be small but it makes a huge difference if we try. Things like not littering here and there, recycling as much as possible, treating each other with respect no matter what caste, creed, religion, sex, etc one belongs to. Try to encourage people to buy Indian products, you will be amazed how well our economy will do. Stop vandalism, our country is our home, it is NOT 'cool' to be have a  'I DON'T CARE ATTITUDE'. Stand up for what is right, our generation has the opportunity to rationalise and it is a time for another revolution, a time to wake up again and free ourselves of selfishness, ego, hatred, overlook our petty differences, its time to take things in our own hands. If someone is not doing their job do yours and help them with theirs. Do what ever you are best at, if you paint, paint for India, if you write, write good things about India, if you sing, sing its prayers for it has given us more than we have given it.


Do not criticise your nation for it did not meet your expectation, it failed because we failed. It will rise when we help it rise. Lets all become one again because, "United we stand, divided we fall".

My Conversation with a Ghost.

All incidents and characters in this blog are fictitious, and resemblance to any incident or character is solely unintentional.

Last night when I was sleeping, I saw a ghost, like the one you see in movies such as The Grudge. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, black or white tall or really short but obviously it wasn't very pretty. It wasn't doing anything particularly, just standing next to my bed and staring at me., which was very creepy.  Not knowing if it was real or a figment of my imagination, I just closed my eyes and went to sleep. The moment I closed my eyes, I felt a cold hand grab my nape. Completely aware that it could have only been that ghost I turned around and asked him, "What the hell are you doing...are you going to eat me", to which the ghost replied, "Yes". Accepting my fate as it came, I waited for it to kill me and eat me but the ghost just stared at me. I asked it what happened and it told me that it actually was a vegetarian and was new to this ghost business. So, I asked it about the plan of action and it said, that it just thought of scaring me a bit because that is what it had seen in the movies when  it was actually alive.
Not aware of the protocol here I woke up and got out of bed (I didn't want to disturb my husband), so I told it to quietly  follow me in the kitchen and it did, since, it had told me it had a preference  for vegetarian food, I fixed it a glass of milk and gave him some cake. It ate very fast and I was actually surprised that the food didn't fall of from its body considering it seemed like a foggy image in the air. So the following conversation took place:
Me: "So how long have you been a ghost?"
Ghost: "Umm...i guess two or three days".
Me: "You went to hell? Did you meet Satan...is he as bad as they show"
Ghost: "Why would you ask me if I went to hell and not heaven?"
Me: "well...you know...because you don't look so good."
Ghost: "Its the way I died so, I remained like this I guess."
Me: "you guess? what do you mean you guess, you didn't meet God or the Devil? you didn't see the tunnel of light?"
Ghost: "no, I just woke up and realised that I was dead".
Me: "How did your body die?"
Ghost: "oh! a car crash...drink driving".
Me: "hmm...no wonder you look like this...hey! can I ask you, please don't be offended...are you a girl ghost or a boy ghost?"
Ghost: "can't you tell? I am a boy ghost."
Me: "Oh ok. Do you think you can have a bath and look a bit better?"
Ghost: "I tried but it didn't work".
Me: "So, what are you going to do now, now that I am not scared and all".
Ghost: "I don't know".
Silence...
Me: "hey listen, I am bit sleepy, so, I guess I am gonna go back to sleep, you can stay ok, just chill out, watch some t.v help yourself to anything you want to eat ok, if you want you can use the couch to sleep on ok, just as long as the you promise not to get any blood on the couch, it fairly new".
Ghost: "Gee thanks! what movies do you have, don't worry about blood it doesn't come off".
Me: "what kind of movies do you want to watch? I have some romantic comedy,  action movies, war, thriller, mysteries and some horror".
Ghost: "Do you have that movie called the Paranormal activity? I didn't get to watch it when I was alive.
Me: "ya...sure, maybe you can pick up some tips from there, how to scare people, I mean that movie scared the hell out of me".
Ghost: "how can a movie scare you and not I, a real life ghost...what the hell, I suck at being a ghost".
Me: "no you scared me, really. Anyway, see you later am going to sleep now. Keep it down ok...thanks"
Ghost: "thanks".
So, I went back to sleep again, when my husband woke up the next day the television was still on, he asked me if I left it on and I told him it was a ghost. He didn't believe me but because he already thinks I am a bit weird he left it at that.

Religion.

Now lets talk about something else today, so, I was sitting and watching this Youtube video of a man who tore a page out of Bible and Quran each, to see which burns faster as a joint or cigarette (I couldn't tell). I agree that it was just a book but I did not see a point for going to such an extreme to prove his point. I am not very religious or God fearing either but I do respect other people's emotions and just because I don't believe in something, doesn't mean that others don't care either. It is like what my Mother-In-Law once said, "religion is like a photograph of a loved one, just a piece of paper and yet if somebody stamps on it with their foot, one does get offended" and I agree, as I watched that video, I felt a bit offended myself, not because he burnt pages out of holy books but because he did not care enough to respect other people. Anyway, he chose to do what he did, maybe, he was desperate to prove his point that religion is above materialism.

Speaking of which, I don't understand one thing about religion, we fight, we argue, we kill, we die on the name of religion, when all religions say or preach just one thing 'love all living beings'. I would like to see which Quran, Gita, Bible or any other religious books claims that they are better than the rest or that we should follow one and not the other. If that is what one claims then, I can only say that either they have been tampered by us humans for our own selfish purpose or they are not worth following. God is a faith to hold onto an inner will to keep you going when you have no hope left. Giving names to him, dividing him through colour, caste, creed hardly seems fair. Are we so naive to see that we humans created religion, I refuse to believe that Christ or Krishna came to earth and said, "oh you human beings, I declare that from now onward, there will be a religion called Christianity or hinduism and we would like you to follow us". I mean seriously, are we ready to compromise logic over blind faith? Try to pick good values, learn to differentiate between right and wrong, understand that we all are living creature, evolved through the same substance, this earth is as much yours as mine, stop wasting time with which is better or worse, one can never be happy unless we truly love each other.

Sick of being sick (shitty post sorry)

Another day and flu again. I just hate it, it is like it puts a halt to my life, not that I had been busy doing anything constructive anyway, but at least there was hope, now, for the next few days there is no hope, I can't go scuba diving, not that I had any plans in the near future, I can't go bungee jumping, not that I would have attempted to,  I can't go running not that the lazy me would have, so basically, you get the picture right. There is no hope.

I feel like eating something but my body is feeling too tired to get out of bed, I have a runny nose, watery eyes, sore throat, body aches, I can't sleep etc.etc. and all I want is soup and some loving but unfortunately there is no soup or any one to love me at home. So, I will just lie on my bed and sulk to myself. Maybe, I will even sum up the courage to walk to the kitchen and make myself some Maggie.

Sorry about this blog, just needed to vent out a bit, you know what they say, 'cribbing about your unhappiness to others is an instant recipe to make yourself feel better. (ok nobody says that,  I am saying it, you can quote me on that) its working on you, I know it is, you are now thinking, "wow I am so glad I feeling well and thank god I don't write such icky blogs"

Life as an Army Officer's daughter.

Today, I saw a video of soldiers returning and meeting their families after really long. I could relate to that. My father was in the army, and most of the times he would be posted to field stations. There were times when we would see him for only a month in a whole year, sometimes, even less, depending on how much leave he would be left with. Even in peace stations, he would have to pack his bags and leave, so, we the family would be left behind.

Back in those days owning a telephone was expensive, and the only way we could contact him were letters. Mobiles were not even introduced then, and since we didn't have a phone we would go to our neighbours house (if they had a phone) or at the guard's room. I remember, Papa would call up and leave  a message with the guard, that he would call back again, and so, five in the morning, we would wait in the guard's room, still groggy from sleep, staring blankly at the phone, at every ring we would jump expecting it to be him...when the call would finally arrive, we could barely hear him and thus, would shout in the mouthpiece as if that would make it more audible. Then, we started recording tapes and exchanging them with each other, every time his would arrive we would sit in front of the music system and listen to it over and over again, even have our dinner while listening to his tapes, especially the part where our names were mentioned. When, we recorded, we would record and re-record to make it the most interesting tape for him.

The day he was expected to come back, Mama would dress us up in our finest clothes and would do the same for herself. My sister and I would wait impatiently, sometimes, even waiting in the guard's rooms to spend as much time with him as possible, and when we would see his auto (tuk-tuk) arrive we would jump with joy and hop in. While, we would hog on all the time, Mama would wait patiently for hers. Sometimes, we would miss him so much that we cried, and Mama would bravely hold her tears and console us, but who was consoling her?

Most of my civilian friends found it cool that I belonged to an army background, and all they ever saw were the fancy dinners, parties, guns that my father must be holding, how many people he must have killed and all that, sure, we had a lot of fun being the army kids, luxuries and places that we got to see, but they never saw the pain, they never understood how hard it was to move from one place to another and make new friends every year. How our mothers suffered every time their husbands left, or how worried we all are when they are posted in field stations. If Army taught all the army families one thing, then it is how you cannot take life or your loved ones for granted.

So, when I saw this video, I understood.

Reflections.

Lately, I have been very negative or that is what Papa told me. I don't mean to be negative, but I guess idle times call for some introspections. Everyday is the same, a reflection of the previous and I like that. My mind is numb. No not in a depressing manner, not in a negative manner either. Its as if it is shut. Do you ever have that feeling, where you are not particularly excited about anything and at the same time nothing upsets you. I know I have sounded negative in my past few blogs, but I guess its good sometimes to be that as well, you find out more about yourself.

Yesterday, just like that, I stared at myself in the mirror for very long, the person staring back at me was me and yet seemed so much older. I don't mind ageing in-fact I am quite happy about it. Happy; because I lived those wonderful years, I am satisfied with my life, except for losing Mama so early, there is nothing else I would change. I have a wonderful father, greatest grandparent, a beautiful sister and a loving yet already senile husband and so, I feel like this is what I am here for. Not to do something very big, not to conquer the world, not to have my name written in the papers, but, to just be with everyone around me. To love them to cherish them. I no longer find happiness in worldly pleasure except for good food, I no longer find the necessity to beautify everything around me because everything around me is beautiful the way it is.

If I back track in my mind, I have no regrets, at least not yet and I am hoping that in the future also, I will feel as content and happy with my life as I do today. So, as long as the sun is shining, birds chirping, rivers flowing, everyone is in good health...all is well, I am well.