Things I have worried about.

When I was little girl there were a lot of things that I worried about, like; my father would lose his job and we would be homeless, that my parents would not love me anymore and then I would be homeless. I worried that one day I will wake up and everyone would be gone, that when we left for a holiday, they would forget about me, or that I would get lost and they will never find me. I worried, that my sister would turn into a ghost while I am sleeping and eat me, that when I grow up no one would want to play with barbies again, that when I swallow an orange seed a tree would grow out of me. I worried that one of my parents will fall sick and never get better, that one day I will see a ghost and I would not know what to do, that no matter how hard I tried I will never be good at maths, that everyone will grow up and I will still remain a little girl.

When I grew up a bit, I worried that I will never be able to catch a ball, that all my friends would become something while I still stayed back in my class trying to pass 10th grade, that my friends judge me for my marks, that my skirt's length would be too short, that my skirts length would be too long, that I will never be able to spell, that all my other friends will know what they are going to become. That all my friend know Michael Jackson's songs and I don't know the lyrics, that my father would find out that I bunked a couple of classes, that one day my grandparents would be too frustrated to live with us and thus resolve to leaving, that I will never be able to learn how to operate a computer. That they will find out that my favourite movie was in fact The Lion King and that I still watched Tom and jerry. I worried that I will become too fat, or I will remain to thin, that no one would find me attractive.

Now a days, I worry; that one day all the immigration will be closed and I will not be able to see my father again, that someday I will be too old to travel and thus will never be able to go back to India again, I worry that my husband will find someone more attractive and will leave me, I worry that someday he will get posted and will leave me, I worry that he will judge me because I don't know what pole vault was, I worry that I will never have any true friends in melbourne, that I would still be alive when the world would be coming to an end, that the world would run out of petrol or water, that we will never be able to figure out what to do about global warming, that I will become one those old grumpy ladies who takes ages to cross the red light while others wait, that I one day I will drive too slow and their would be a big queue of cars behind me, that my teeth would fall out earlier than I anticipated, that I still don't know what I want to do with life, that I will never stop worrying and thus will never be happy.